© Michael Stirman
My master is a human
A funny kind of thing
He strolls around my garden
As though he is a king
He caught me near Christmas time
The winter wind was raw
He put me in a cardboard box
And covered me with straw.
I scuttled round the box a bit
And scuttled back again
The prison wasn’t very big
The sharp straw was a pain.
I measured off the box in steps
It measured ten by eight
I grew tired running round the thing
And decided to hibernate.
I am a real sound sleeper
I just woke up today
I sniffed and snuffed and looked about
My god it must be May.
The master took me from the box
And fed me with some worms
He gave me something white to drink
I hope I don’t get germs.
The white stuff tasted awful
It’s from a cow I’m sure.
I can’t stand all that foreign muck
Just English plain and pure.